Andy's Rant Pages
(Being A Pizza Delivery Driver!)
PAGE 3
People who exaggerate:
When they say that the pizza is almost an hour old since they placed their order when it's really only 35 minutes?
When they say the pizza is (ice) cold when it's not as hot as they expected?
"Cold" pizzas are extremely rare now since the introduction of the new Heat Wave hotbags. I have even heard that a few customers are complaining that the pizzas are now too hot! Sigh, you just can't seem to please everyone.
People who accuse me and my fellow drivers of speeding down their street:
The pizza delivery chain where I work heavily reminds us to drive safely and defensively. I get so damn annoyed when someone calls the store accusing me or another fellow driver of speeding or reckless driving. Believe me, we absolutely have nothing to gain by speeding especially with the advertising we have on our delivery vehicles. There was one instance where a kid conveniently rolls his ball into the street and I had to stop on a dime. Even when I was driving just barely over the 20 MPH (30 KPH) speed limit, my tires squealed when I slammed on my brakes. Another instance was where a pickup truck backed out of a driveway and peeled off (you know, burn rubber) in front of me and someone called accusing me of being the offender.
What really annoys me is where the people at the store didn't get the complainer's phone number so I could call back and explain my side of the story.
People who aren't home when you get to their
house: 
One reason is that some people have this "I can get to my house before the pizza delivery driver gets there" thinking that they could save time from not having to wait at home for the pizza delivery driver by calling from work or on their cell phone stuck in traffic. They think that they would make it home before the pizza delivery driver gets there. Well I have news for you people. You are wasting my time and even your's if I get there first and see that nobody's home! I have to go back to the store to take another delivery.
People who can't seem to get their door open:
They don't have their deadbolt lock key on them or near the door and/or the door is sticky. I can't imagine what would happen if they need to quickly escape in an emergency. This all goes back to people who don't put numbers on their houses.
Person who orders pizza but doesn't tell anybody else:
That someone else ends up answering the door and tells me that they didn't order the pizza. You know the rest of the story.
People who have gotten spoiled on a cheap pizza special: 
I had this one guy demanding that I give him the expired (on March 31, 2001) New Orleans Saints $6 off your regular priced pizza order on Mondays (i.e. $8.49 medium one topping - $6 = $2.49 + tax). I was trying to be reasonable with him and told him that we have a new special on Tuesdays where you buy one large and you get a second large (with equal or lesser value) for free but he gave me a snotty attitude saying that he was the only person there. He gave us an ultimatum if we were going to sell him the expired special or not. My manager and I said no so he hung up. Geeze! I would never act like this if I went to Burger King and they told me that the 99 cent whopper special had expired. This seems to go back to that lose-lose situation with people who try to combine two specials in one. If we were to sell him that cheap pizza this time around, what would stop him from coming around the next time and demand the same expired special again? Sometimes you just have to put your foot down because when you give people an inch, some will take a mile!
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ANDY'S RANT PAGES (BEING A PIZZA DELIVERY DRIVER!)
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Last modified on Tuesday, April 24, 2001.