Andy's Rant Pages
(Being A Pizza Delivery Driver!)
PAGE 1
The number one rant ALL pizza delivery drivers share.
People who don't TIP and/nor TIP the proper amount:
You're supposed to tip the pizza delivery driver! Please also teach your children this etiquette! I hate it when a kid gives me a $10 bill for a $9.78 order and tells me to keep the change. Sometimes I have to go through the elements to get your pizza to your door hot, fresh, high, and dry. If you can afford the pizza, you certainly could afford an extra dollar or two for the pizza delivery driver. If paying by check, it's also okay if you would like to include the TIP on the check so there's is just no reason to be a stiffer. Here's a link to a tipping etiquette web site for those who have more questions on how to tip. Most pizza delivery drivers would be happy with the absolute minimum US$ 1 or 10%, whichever is more.
People who don't have their check written out when the pizza delivery driver arrives at the door:
Sometimes the pizza delivery driver has multiple deliveries that has to be delivered as soon as possible. Again it's also okay if you would like to include the TIP on the check. At the end of the shift the TIP is figured out from what he/she owes the store.
If you ever find yourself in this situation, the pizza delivery person will forgive you if you add a few extra dollars to the tip on the check.
People who live in gated communities such as some apartments and neighborhoods who don't give their last name and/or code for the automatic security gate:
C'mon! They know better than that! How the heck is the pizza delivery driver going to call you to buzz open the gate? That's why some pizza delivery drivers have decided to get their own cellular phones! I got my first cell phone in 1994.
People who don't put numbers on their houses:
What does it take to make sure people can find your house quickly? This also hinders the ambulance, police and fire departments if an emergency arises.
Porch light not on at night:
It's as bad if not worse as no numbers on their houses. It's very very bad if the house had both no porch light and number.
Another thing that irks me is when it seems that everyone else has their porch lights on except the house I'm supposed to deliver to. This sometimes throws me off and I end up knocking on the wrong door because there are no numbers on the house or they are very hard to see.
People who try to combine two specials in one:
Look, if you try to use a buy-one-get-one-free coupon with a special it would make the pizza so damn cheap that it would put the place out of business if everybody did it. Maybe someone who took your order last time must have inadvertantly given you that coupon/special combination so don't go ballistic the next time when someone else says that you cannot combine the specials. Just realize that you got an extremely great deal last time so be happy about that. Please don't put the business in a lose-lose situation. They lose by accepting your cheap business and they lose by losing a customer. The only exception to this is if you used a manufacturer's coupon combined with the store's special.
The phone relay game:
You know, it's when someone who doesn't live there is on the phone placing the order and has to keep asking the host everything. Let the host place the order damn it! It gets irritating when he has to go back and forth to ask the host what they want on their pizza, want any breadsticks, want any drinks, what's the address, what's the phone number, cash or check, etc. This also applies to small children. It's just takes too much time!
People who can't decide on what they want when phoning in an order:
Why bother wasting the order taker's time when he/she could be doing something productive like making the pizzas for another order? Please have your order ready before you call!
People who call for deliveries 5 minutes before or even way after closing time:
It always seem to happen every night. Why can't they do it during all of the other times? It sets me back 15 to 30 minutes. Excuse me! I do have a life! I have to go home to my family and go to sleep! Some people must think that pizza parlors are open 24 hours a day!
People who have this "me, myself, and I" attitude:
This happened to a co-worker who was the only person in the store because all of the delivery drivers were out on deliveries. She was taking orders over the phone and noticed that pizzas coming were coming out of the oven. She politely asked the customer if she could hold in order to catch some pizzas. The customer flat out said "I'M NOT GOING TO HOLD FOR ANYONE!" The phone order taker pleaded and tried to reason with the customer because she needs to catch those pizzas before they fall off the conveyor belt and onto the floor and it won't even be a minute but still couldn't get her to budge an inch. Finally, the phone order taker had to excuse herself to get the pizza once and for all. When she got back to the phone, the arrogant customer wanted her name and her superiors' phone numbers so she could report this incident. What a bitch! I know that the customer is always right but they also should understand the other side of the story.
People who confuse us with another pizza establishment:
They would tell us they want (meat, veggie, pepperoni,etc.) LOVERS, SUPREME, and SUPER SUPREME. Domino's call it (meat,
veggie, pepperoni, etc.) FEAST, DELUXE, and EXTRAVAGANZZA. Sometimes I would pretend to not know what they are talking about so they would realize their blunder.
People who call up and want the nearest competitor's phone number:
There was a couple of times that people want the phone number of Pizza
Hut. I either wouldn't say a word or I would say that we can make your pizza.
People who try to pay with $50 and $100 bills for a small order:
It is okay if it is a big order that costs $50 or $100 but in all the other cases do they really think that the small sized store keeps tons of change? It's not the First National Bank or the casino. They have no right to get pissed off whenever someone says that thay can't break a $50 or a $100 bill. They should ALWAYS keep lower denominations in their purse or wallet!
Some people with coupons:
There are some who try to keep the coupon and hope that the driver doesn't ask for it. If it is someone who usually tips big, I'll let it slide. That's one of the advantages and benefits of being a big tipper! For a stiffer, I'll will not move until I get the coupon. I'll call the manager on the spot if they can't produce it. I'll make the stiffer write up a "coupon" and sign it. Do they think the supermarket would discount the item if the customer didn't have the coupon?
There are the customers who don't mention the coupon on the phone. They think that we are psychic and can tell through the phone that they have the coupon. They finally tell us that they have the coupon when we give them the regular price.
How about when they never mention a coupon until the driver gets to the door?
If I were psychic, I would know the lottery numbers for the next drawing and I would be rich!
Water sprinklers:
Please point the sprinkler away from the front door if a pizza delivery driver is coming. It's as bad (if not worse because some sprinklers target one spot) as getting rained on.
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ANDY'S RANT PAGES (BEING A PIZZA DELIVERY DRIVER!)
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Last modified on Wednesday, September 28, 2005.